Exactly less than you need.

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Hiker setting up an ultralight tent in a suburban backyard
Reduced weight through aggressive feature deletion
Preferred by people who use short toothbrushes
Field-tested under statistically favorable conditions
100% function, 0% practical resale value
Featured Products

Experience the impossible with our revolutionary lightweight gear

Base Weight Zero Water

Base Weight Zero Water

Water, with the heavy part removed. Just add water.

$280 oz (as intended)
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Bear Spray Hot Sauce

Bear Spray Hot Sauce

Two capsaicin products. One regrettably efficient canister.

$672.1 oz
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Caffeinated Sunscreen

Caffeinated Sunscreen

SPF 30 for people who have declared mugs nonessential.

$521.1 oz
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